Have you ever gone somewhere you’ve never been before? It's easy to assume you know the way.

Letting go, practicing non-attachment, is never easy. It’s natural for us to be fearful of the outcome. Society, our parents, our personal history all teach us to be scared, rather than child-like in our pursuits, exploring with wonder and curiosity.

That’s the proverbial question that seems to be on everybody’s mind when they see me. As I mentioned in this Instagram post, I didn’t have all the answers when I first returned. In fact, I still don’t. However, I have a very clear direction of what I want and how to get there. I’d love for you to come along on the journey as I write my next chapter. What’s in store? Glad you asked. 

“This pose is the hardest one you’ll face all evening,” I told them. “As gravity takes hold of your hips, the stretch will intensify. Notice your thoughts in this very moment,” I encouraged. Those thoughts in this intense moment say more about you than you even realize. 

“If you close your eyes and ears, sit quietly, allow the mind to be completely silent and then listen within, you will hear God humming. God talks to us always, but we talk so loud we fail to hear.” Sri Swami Satchindananda, The Yoga Sutras of Ptanjali

Guess what? I cried for the first time on my mat today in what seems like forever. (Just so you know, I’m secretly loving telling you about all the times I cry on this trip.) While trying to get into a pose, my knee started to hurt. On the second attempt, I tried the pose and immediately got out of it. I laid on my mat as tears sprung in my eyes. You’re knee hurts. You can’t do this. You’ll never get this pose. Everyone else is better than you. You’ll never amount to anything. Why are you even trying? You think YOU can teach yoga? My thoughts began to snowball.

I’m 3 days in and finally made my way to my mat. This evening found me on a rooftop in the heart of Barcelona staring at a brilliant blue sky as the sun began to fade. And wait for it…I cried happy tears.

Confidence. I briefly mentioned this in my last post regarding my 30-day adventure.
Something magical happens when I step on my yoga mat. I’m transported to a different world, where all that matters is my breath. For one hour of my day, there are no peer pressures, outside influences or society telling me how and why I should do something. It’s just me, my breath and my movements. I am capable of anything. And let me tell you, that’s when I feel most confident.

I got this crazy idea to get on my yoga mat for 30 consecutive days. How hard could it be, right? That’s what I thought too. Little did I know my personal 30-day challenge would teach me about so much more than yoga.