What Brings You Joy?

What brings you joy?

Did reading that question cause your heart to skip a beat? Do you find yourself holding your breath?

If this is you, you're not alone. Take a deep exhale and keep reading.

When I ask clients this question, I usually hear crickets. Many can’t immediately tell me what brings them joy as they’re often operating on autopilot from a place of stress.

Joy is a state of being often tied to feelings of pleasure and happiness.

Mel Robbins often explains the difference between joy and happiness like this:

Happiness is the waves in the ocean. It’s an emotion that comes in and goes out depending on your circumstances.

Joy is the entire ocean, regardless of the waves. It’s a state of being that requires presence. Joy exists, and is available to us, even when there is sadness or anger or resentment.

You have to be rooted in the present moment to fully experience joy. And when you reflect back on that moment, the emotion you feel upon reflection is happiness.

December 7 is National Joy Day!

While the national day is actually earmarked to celebrate those with the name Joy, it’s a great time to introduce one of my favorite coaching tools - the joy list!

The list grounds you in the present moment and helps you to experience joy on the deepest level. Let’s be honest–operating on autopilot is totally overrated.

Here's how it works:

1. First, reflect on situations and scenarios where you’re operating from a place of presence and joy. Try to identify 5-10 instances that are simple, free, don’t require other people, and are easy to access because remember, joy is always available to you.
   
   For me, this looks like drinking a hot cup of coffee on a patio. Walking barefoot through green grass. Observing a sunset.
   
   In those moments, the world around me ceases to exist. I’m one with my maker. One with creation. I’m present and experiencing this moment as it happens. And this one. And this one.
   
   Some things that frequently pop up on clients’ joy lists: listening to music, dancing around the living room, walks in nature, and petting their pups.
    

2. Once you have your list of 5-10 things that move you into a state of joy, it’s time to put your list to work. When you’re overwhelmed, in the midst of chaos or feel stuck, stop whatever your doing and set a timer for 5 minutes. Choose one thing from your joy list and do it!
   
   Friend, you cannot pour from an empty cup. Operating on fumes serves no one, and I have a hunch that a few of you may be doing this right now during the busy the holiday season.
   
   Doing things that bring you joy and help you access that state of being helps to fill your cup and even create reserves.

When you’re operating from the state of joy, you bring a different energy to the conversation with your kiddo who’s having a meltdown or your in-laws who are on your last nerve.

You’re seeing the forest through the trees. You’re noticing the water and the entirety of the ocean rather than just riding the waves.

As the next few weeks continue to ramp up with holiday parties, family obligations and last minute shopping, put your joy list to work. Be present in the moment and experience the joy that life brings this time of year. It's truly magical.

I’d love to hear what situations and scenarios bring you to the state of joy. Leave a comment below and share your list with me!