The Great Wedding Dress Debacle.

I bought a pink wedding dress. Like Barbie pink. With a bow. 🎀

Is it gorgeous? Yes. Is it for me? Not anymore.

Stick with me.

When I first traveled to Bali, I had a vivid dream.

In it, I faced an important choice - go back down the path I’d been traveling which was black and white. Or, choose the path in front of me, which was full of bright, vibrant colors.

I chose color.

Since then, I’ve intentionally added color to everything. Color in my home. My wardrobe. My makeup. My life.

Color indicated my future.

So naturally, I was drawn to a pink wedding dress and immediately ordered it online without having tried it on.

To be fair, I ordered the identical dress in white as well.

After modeling both for my mom and sisters, we all agreed the pink suited me.

But something didn’t sit well with me. The pink dress felt “off.”

“It’s just too big,” I thought. “I’ll like it better once it’s altered,” I told myself.

As I stood watching my seamstress pin the hem of my dress, I wanted to cry. For those 30 minutes I held back tears and feigned a smile for the camera.

My niece later sent me the photos, which I promptly showed to exactly no one.

I was embarrassed.

Not only had I spent money on two dresses, but also I’d flown all the way to Chicago to have them altered. And I was miserable.

I didn’t feel beautiful or radiant or any of the things you hear that brides should feel.

That’s when my inner critic spoke up.

“It’s your weight,” she told me. “You should be skinnier. You’ve let yourself go. You’re lucky he wants to marry you.”

YIKES - she was downright mean.

Maybe you've heard similar sentiments from your critic.

My friend and stylist, Jessica, reminded me that none of those things were true.

She Mandi’d me! And, I didn’t like it one bit (but honestly, I'm so glad she did).

Jessica helped me to understand my personal style and how to choose clothes for my body proportions.

Most importantly, though, she helped me see how a past dream was dictating my today.

Choosing color doesn’t have to mean the literal color of my dress. Duh. 🤦‍♀️

To me, choosing color always meant living a bold, brave and vibrant life. I'd forgotten that.

It's slow dancing in my living room. Playing Clue with my niece. Laughing so hard my cheeks hurt.

Remember, friend, you’re allowed to change your mind. It’s never too late.

Whether it’s the dress you’re wearing on your wedding day or how you define a colorful life, make sure your choices are a reflection of YOU.

Honor you. Cherish you. Love you.

As for me, I may keep the pink dress, or sell it. 🤷‍♀️ That has yet to be determined.

One thing is certain. I will be walking down the aisle in a gorgeous, new, white dress that makes me feel radiant.

It’s a reflection of how I feel about myself, the life I’ve built, Patrick’s love, and the colorful adventure that will be our life together.