Releasing My Fear.

I’m divorced. 

Wow, saying that out loud still creates a little bit of anxiety in my heart, even though it’s the truth.

I’ve been talking a lot lately about how fears can block you from living the life you truly desire. The life you crave. Those fears pop up, create negative thoughts surrounding your decisions, which elicit emotions that ultimately drive your behavior. 

My fear of getting a divorce drove my behavior for a very long time. 

In fact, I was still married when I went to my first ever therapy session. A little timid and not knowing what to expect, I walked into the therapist’s office and blurted out, “I think I want a divorce!”

Something about her space made me feel comfortable enough to bare my soul on my very. first. session.

Over the course of that year, my therapist and I discussed all the reasons I wanted a divorce, as well as the reasons to stay in my marriage. 

You know what she helped me realize? That all of those reasons and thoughts were coming from outside of me. 

They weren’t MY reasons - they were other people’s expectations of me; and I was living out my life according to their desires.

I’m a two-wing-one on the Enneagram, and my inner perfectionist was coming out with claws. The last thing I wanted to do was to say I was divorced. That would be a negative reflection of me, my character and my choices, right?

In my mind, people would judge me for it. 

I was so worried about other people’s opinions that I suffered in silence to make others happy. 

How many of you have ever felt like that? How many of you feel like you’re living your life according to other people’s expectations? 

It can be suffocating. Overwhelming. And frankly, exhausting. 

Here’s the thing about fear -  when you let it control your behavior, it can leave you feeling stuck and unhappy. Frustrated and bitter. All of these emotions directly affect your behaviors. And 99% of the time, they don’t direct you to a positive path.

Once you’re able to articulate the fear holding you back, you can release it. 

To paraphrase Tony Robbins, change happens when the pain of staying where you are is greater than the pain of doing something different.

The peace, freedom, confidence, clarity and courage you seek awaits you on the other side of digging into your fear and doing the work to overcome it.

Doing the work works.

If you’re ready to release your fears, coaching might be a great place to start. I’d love to help you along your journey. Set up a free discovery and let’s chat.

Until next time, friend, much love + gratitude.