Your Calling.

I was 13 years old the first time I hosted a retreat. Okay, retreat might be a strong word. I’d come home from summer camp on such a high and knew that I wanted to share that feeling with my friends.

Six girls sat on my bedroom floor in a circle one Friday night listening intently as I gave a speech on friendship. I ended the circle time by playing Michael W. Smith’s song Friends.

Each friend walked away with a marble I deemed a “smile marble” - it’s intention was to remind you to smile on tough days because you were surrounded by friends who would lift you up. 

If I could go back to that first “retreat” I’d tell my younger self how proud of her I am. 

I knew then that imparting wisdom in a way that leaves others feeling refreshed, joy-filled and excited about the future was part of my life’s calling.

Regardless of the dozens of retreats I’ve helped plan, coordinate or host, it has taken me years before I actually felt comfortable walking in this calling.

Have you ever felt that way?

You know you have a gift or talent. Maybe you can even see how you’re supposed to use it; and yet, you don’t feel totally comfortable walking in your calling. 

Often times people are too worried about what other people will think of them that they neglect what they think of themselves.

Here is an exercise that helped me get comfortable using my talents. Give it a try to see if it helps you identify and get comfortable walking in your calling as well.

1. On a 1” x 1” square piece of paper, write the names of the people whose opinions really matter to you. Brene Brown talks about this exercise in her book Daring Greatly.

2. Ask those same people to share your strengths with you. People are often able to see your strengths and talents when you can’t see them for yourself.

3. Evaluate where in your life those strengths are already showing up. For example, a friend says you’re brave. Where in your life have you had the opportunity to be brave? Maybe it was sharing your opinion in an important meeting or setting a necessary boundary with a family member.

4. Frame a photo of yourself with a wide mat around it. Write your strengths on the mat surrounding your photo and place it in your home where you will see it daily. I first did this when I worked in corporate America. That photo hangs in my bathroom where I see it as I get ready every day. It reminds me who I am and how I can show up in the world. This was done at the retreat I hosted last weekend, and it was super impactful.

5. Lastly, seek out opportunities to use those gifts and talents on a daily basis. For me, I don’t host a retreat every single day. However, I do get to impart wisdom. I do have the opportunity to leave others feeling excited about the future after a coaching session or conversation over coffee.

The more you seek out opportunities and scenarios that allow you to flex those talent “muscles,” the more you build that strength until utilizing your gifts feels natural.

Little did I know that a silly sleepover in 7th grade was paving the way for me to host retreats and run a private coaching practice.

Keep showing up. Keep using your gifts in small ways even when you can’t see the big picture yet. Before you know it, you’ll look up and clearly see the you paved.