Blind Faith.

By definition, faith is a complete trust in someone or something; a strong belief in God or in the doctrines of a religion, based on spiritual apprehension rather than proof.

Over the course of the past year, my faith has grown exponentially. I can’t explain why exactly. Maybe it’s because I’ve invested time and energy into listening to myself, digging deeper for answers rather than placing blame on external forces. What I’ve discovered is nothing short of amazing to me. God listens. I’ve known this my whole life. The problem was, I wasn’t listening in return for the answers I sought. As I become more open to hearing him, I’ve experienced some pretty awesome “God moments,” as I like to call them. This past week when I took a HUGE leap of faith God showed me once again that he was listening.  

Last Wednesday morning I prayed, as I typically do to start my day. I had a huge decision on my heart and couldn’t decide when I wanted to follow through and pull the trigger. In my prayer, I asked God to let me know when the timing was right.

At lunch, my girlfriends and I discussed my big decision and weighed all sorts of options. After several scenarios and if “this” then “that” situations, I told my girlfriends that I would just know when the time was right. The decision hadn’t weighed on me to the point I was sick, so it wasn’t time to follow through just yet.

So, no joke – we were leaving the restaurant and my stomach got really upset. The first thing I did upon arrival at my office was run to the restroom where I proceeded to get sick. Coincidence, right?

Later, I walked into a meeting with my boss. He was talking about this and that, making plans and devising strategies. He asked me to take on a project and sign up for another program. My heart was racing. I began to feel sick again. Still just a coincidence, I think?! I nodded my head politely and went back to my desk where I began to feel sick again. And then it hit me. I knew what I had to do.

I posted a photo on IG of the necklace I’d specifically chosen to wear that day that read, “she believed she could, so she did.” (This seems random, I know. Trust me…just wait for it.) Then, I messaged my boss to see if he was available.

Once at his desk, my heart became eerily calm. I looked him in the eye and with a confidence I didn’t know I had said, “Here’s the thing. I can’t take on that project and do that program. I’m leaving. I’ve got big plans –  hopes and dreams to chase and intuition to follow.” I proceeded to share my plans with him. After a few silent beats passed, he shared his excitement for me.

So I walked back to my desk, feeling pretty calm about the whole ordeal. It went way smoother than I could have anticipated. About 20 seconds later, it hit me like a freight train. Oh shit. It’s so real. There was no turning back. I had quit my job – my steady, stable paycheck, this thing that I’m really good at, for what? The unknown. My fears set in and the stories began to form in my mind. How far will my savings go? What will I do? And the tears began to fall. I. Quit. My Job.

In a moment of weakness (or so it felt), I reached out to my coach and shared the news. She asked me how I felt. How did I feel? How did I feel? I was crying and kind of freaking out. Then, no joke, as I began to type my response which read, “I’m relieved it’s over. No turning back now. I’m completely operating on blind faith here and am scared shitless.” a message popped up on my phone. My meditation app delivered its daily reminder at the precise moment I was typing “scared shitless.” The reminder read, “Look up and smile.” That was it.

So, as I was crying and looking at my phone, I decided to follow the instructions. I looked up, and couldn’t help but smile. There, in front of my face on my desk, was a sign my dear friend gave me:

She believed she could, so she did.

In that moment, God answered my prayers. No need to be scared my sweet servant, I’ve got you. Your belief is enough.

I am trusting my intuition and answering this call that has been on my heart. In doing so, I am relying on God’s divine plan for my life. I am his servant and he can use me in ways I can’t even anticipate at the moment.