Being Vulnerable.
I’ve always cared what people think of me. I’m guessing I’m not alone in that regard. In her book “Daring Greatly,” Brene Brown challenged me to consider who these “people” are who often influence my decisions.
Being authentic can be a bit scary, especially when you’re still figuring out your authentic self. When you’re vulnerable and allow your world to see the real you, ridicule, harassment, jokes, or persecution often follow. Or, sometimes they don’t. I’ve often hidden parts of who I am for fear of losing friends or being labeled the black sheep. However, my travels have introduced me to some really amazing individuals who are different from me but so very beautiful. And together, we’ve shared amazing conversations, philosophies, and tools of our trade. It’s such a warm feeling to connect with like-minded individuals who are proud of themselves for being just that – themselves. Real. They’ve inspired me.
So, here I am in all my glory owning all parts of my quirky personality. Because at the end of the day, I’m still me. Just a girl with a big smile, huge heart and full of so much gratitude. I’m just putting this out there – I like oracle cards. And I might own a deck…and I might pull cards. Okay, no might. I do.
I’ve been reading a lot lately about different saints and significant people from the Bible. All of them received signs, heard voices, had dreams, etc. God spoke to them. Many of them were scared to share what they’d seen or heard for fear of persecution. I get it. I’ve seen and heard a lot lately and while I tell my mom, I don’t always tell people for that pesky fear of “what will people think.”
Whew…if you all only knew the anxiety I’ve had over typing that. But, if you’re still with me, I want to share some thoughts I had today when I was pulling a card this morning.
(By the way, what follows is my real post. All of that above was because I was terrified of telling you I have a deck of Oracle cards and I needed to justify my behavior for fear of losing you.)
Now, onto my story…
As I was shuffling through my deck this morning a funny thought occurred to me. I’ve been using ‘woo’ in my life for some time without even realizing it.
For the past two years, my morning routine has been virtually the same. I start with meditation. Then, without fail, I check Instagram to see if @iamhertribe or @thebettermanproject has a new post. For so long they posted every day and their words resonated with me. They still do. I swear God uses them and their words to speak directly to me. Their words helped me have the courage to get out of bed, to move forward, to forgive, to face my fears, to travel, to love.
During some of my lowest points in life, when they hadn’t posted something new, I would close my eyes, scroll up and down their IG feed, say a quick prayer that God speaks to me, and then randomly touch my screen so a quote would pop up. And every time, without fail, their words struck a cord.
How is that any different than pulling a card with an affirmation on it that resonates in the same way?
At the end of the day, they’re all tools used for God to speak to me. And he does – often. Cards. Instagram accounts. My dreams. A stranger on the plane. A billboard. A text from my cousin. A monkey. My mom. A note left by a stranger. The homily at last Sunday’s mass in Newtown. God works in mysterious ways. Miracles occur every single day. And he speaks to us always. Are you listening? I am.
So there it is. Me putting it out into the world that I hear voices, see signs and pull cards. Totally normal, right?!? I’m curious. And I follow my curiosity. Call me crazy. Call me weird. Call me whatever you like.
Now my curiosity turns to you. How many of you hear when God speaks to you? I’m genuinely curious if I’m the only one or if others hear him. It becomes a game I like to play each day – okay God, how will you talk to me today. What tools does he use to speak to you?
If you don’t hear him, just sit. Quietly. Patiently. He’s talking to you. Your day is just filled with so many to-do lists, carpools, phone calls, client meetings and t-ball practices that you probably aren’t hearing him.
When you finally hear him speak, I want to know how he shows up for you!
PS…I’m glad I finally had the courage to be open and honest with you guys. I’ve wanted to share some of my experiences but just haven’t. And in the next couple of days, I want to share a great story about connecting the dots. But I felt like this boulder was in the way. Now that it’s gone….look out world!